Below are extracts from letters written to a Dutch friend with whom Janina lived first in Palestine and later in Germany. The letters describe her impressions of the Mother and about her life experience in the Ashram.

31.5.1958

Since the lesson She gave me during the movies I know that I could never find Her if the element of outer appearances were allowed to remain in my attitude towards Her. But as my love for Her is great it all developed in such a wonderful way. I felt that I myself can do nothing and She made me come to the point where I could take all my love for Her into my hands and offer it to Her for purification and transformation. This happened the day before yesterday during the Balcony Darshan and She accepted my offering. Since it happened I begin to feel more and more as if I am on the way to becoming nothing. I know that there is plenty still in me to be given to Her, but it now seems to be so logical - just to go on: to give this, and there is less in me, and again this and there is still less in me; and so I shall come progressively to the moment of being nothing, because She will have taken all of me. Oh! this is such happiness! Yesterday during the children's class She spoke about the "Supreme Love which knows everything and can do everything". I let this sentence work in me and it seems that nearly each preoccupation with myself - the small myself - is in such a situation just an offense and foolishness.

Yesterday I saw something of the country surrounding Pondicherry. Mother possesses many estates, farms, gardens and lakes, 2- 7 miles out of town in different places. It is a wonderful feeling to feel Her so much spread over the land around. In each place there are one or more sadhaks living there and there is such a nice atmosphere. I have seen a pottery and a poultry farm and two vegetable gardens, very big ones. I went in a jeep that brings vegetables for the Ashram. I wanted to see the pottery and what clay they use and how they dry the pots as I am doing some sculpture. But they were so kind to show me also other places on the way. Near the pottery is a lovely house where the father of our director of physical education lives. He supervises all the rice fields. The feeling of Her presence in all these places made me see once more that even if the sadhaks are more or less human, She is the Lord of everything and radiates through them. And you know, Riek, there is now also such happiness radiating in our Nursing Home. Our patient said it to Mother and people who come say it too.

(Ref: A Captive of Her Love, P: 52-53)

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